…and I’m not happy! So after my last Razzball update here, my pitching staff has continued to pitch as if they were accumulating stats for my “good” teams. Memo to my studly rotation: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SUCK! I’m 1st (well actually last in this league) in ERA and WHIP, at 3.24 and 1.22, respectively, and leading the league (losing to the league) in strikeouts. This is not what I had envisioned.

So who is to blame for this (so far) failure of a pitching staff to live up to its history of crappiness? Well unfortunately I seem to have drafted every pitcher who has had message board threads started about them, asking the age-old question “Is ________ for real? Can he keep it up?” That’s right, I’m talking about Brian Bannister, Tim Redding, Todd Wellemeyer, Micah Owings, and current staff ace, Cliff Lee. If only I owned this motley crew in my real leagues! I’m still holding tight, keeping my faith in history and expecting to see regression soon. Otherwise, I’ll set a record that won’t soon be broken by future Razzball owners for the most breakout pitchers drafted in one season.

Brian Bannister has been discussed enough all over the Internet, but I still see the 4.27 xFIP and a terrible K/9, giving me confidence his smoke and mirrors act will come to an end sooner, rather than later. I don’t need to say much about Redding, since his history sums it up. A 4.71 xFIP for him says it all. Wellemeyer could be a problem as his xFIP actually does back up his ERA. He has improved his control and taken his strikeouts to over 1 per inning. The K/9 can’t possibly last, and we’ll see how long the improved control does as well, but I’ll be monitoring him to see if his bad side plans to return anytime soon. Ahh, Micah Owings. Boy do I feel stupid so far for having included him in my Not a Sleeper series! While all the hypsters are patting themselves on the back for drafting him, I note a low BABIP, high strand rate, 2 of 4 opponents being the Giants, and an xFIP 1.55 higher than his actual ERA. So i’m not ready to drop him just yet. And last is early-season CY Young contender Cliff Lee. I have no idea where these skills are coming from, as it’s way out of line with anything he’s ever done at the major league level. Luckily for me, Dave Cameron at FanGraphs doesn’t see any difference this year in what Lee is doing on the mound, and expects to see some major regression in his results, back to his historical norms.

On the hitting side of the equation, I’m basically middle of the pack in all categories, with the exception of strikeouts where I rank 8th out of 10. It’s impossible to balance the positive and negative categories, so this was a side effect of my strategy to minimize my ABs, once reaching the minimum. As hoped for, Jim Edmonds has been Razzball gold, hitting .212 with 17 K’s and little production. Jose Bautista has been a pleasant surprise, even exceeding his already high level of projected suckiness with a .182 average and 20 strikeouts with little else. On the negative side, Skip Schumaker and Emil Brown have “hurt” my team by hitting near .300 each and combining for pretty good R and RBI totals.

And that wraps it up for today’s Razzball update. I’m very curious to see if any trades will be made in the league. I personally think there will be none, but it should be funny to analyze it if one does go down. Come to think of it, maybe I should attempt to “buy low” on Livan Hernandez.

Questions, comments, criticisms, praise, expert league invitations? Email me at FBGeneralsMike@gmail.com.